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This message Good Morning Sunshine was posted by An
actual new story from Hatman on Monday, December 3, 2001 at
00:19.
It's a quiet morning in the city of Parodiopolis. No criminal
masterminds are holding the city hostage. No extraterrestrial invaders are
poised to ransack the planet. No wives are throwing their husbands out after an
ill-advised remark about their hair this early in the A.M. It is a rare thing
indeed.
Up and about to enjoy the morning is the superheroine Sorceress.
But as she is not out and about superheroining right now, we'll go with her
actual name, Whitney. Whitney's brown hair is tousled, and there is still a
touch of sleep in her eye. She is dressed in a worn blue housecoat, and debates
whether she should use her magic to brew the coffee faster. She declines, as she
is not sure how magic will work with an NTU-I'll-Brew-You coffee machine. She
retrieves the morning paper from the door, and pads back towards the kitchen.
From out of nowhere, a green and orange streak comes bounding down the
stairs.
"HiWhitHowyadoin'?I'dlovetochatbutPowerpuffGirlsisonandI'mgoingtomissitifIdon'thurrycatchyalater!"
it calls on its way to the main living room.
"Morning Dream," Whitney
yawns as she returns to the kitchen. Dream is also known as the hyperactive
superhero known as CrazySugarFreakBoy!. Every morning Dream races downstairs at
6 A.M to watch his cartoons, even though it would be easy enough to set the VCR.
Dream never seemed to have outgrown the childlike reflex to be up at the crack
of dawn to watch television.
Whitney puts her two slices of bread into
the toaster. She pulls the margarine from the fridge, and opens the cupboard to
retrieve the jam. The two creams and one sugar has just finished being stirred
in the coffee when the toast pops. She applies her condiments to the bread, then
armed with toast and coffee sits at the table to read the paper.
As she
reaches the Life section, a green dragon in a black housecoat and (to keep his
friend Yo happy) bunny slippers walks into the kitchen. "Morning Whit," he says.
"Morning Foom," replies Whitney, sipping her coffee. Fin Fang Foom,
otherwise known as Andrew Dean, is the leader of the superhero team the Lair
Legion. As is his custom in the morning, he pours himself a cup of coffee,
black, on his way to the Monitor Room to check up on the night's events. With
all the upgrades made to the Monitor Room over the past few years, it was not
necessary for someone to stay up all night watching for emergencies. Visionary
still felt it was important for someone to be there, but only when there was
real work to be done. Foom checks every morning to see if anything needs to be
tended to.
Foom leaves the room just as two more people enter. The man
is wearing yesterday's socks, a t-shirt spouting the slogan "I Pity Da Foo'",
and a pair of sweatpants. The woman is clad in a pair of blue pajama bottoms and
an oversized sweatshirt. "Morning Derek. Morning Val," mumbles the dragon as he
carries on to the Monitor Room.
"Morning Foom," they reply. The man is
Derek Foreman, also known as the hero Exile. The woman on the right is the only
thing he likes to see this early in the morning besides a cup of coffee and an
Eggo, Valeria of Carfax. Val is technically Derek's slave, but he prefers her to
just be his girlfriend. Val has no complaints. "Morning Whit," they add as they
see Whitney.
"Morning guys," she says. She tosses the Sports Section
down for Derek and the Crossword for Valeria. Val likes to do the Crosswords to
learn more about the Earth and this dimension (Val is also from another plane of
existence called the Dreary Dimension, but we won't get into that). She often
needs help, but nobody minds helping her. Derek is a guy. That explains the
Sports Section.
Whitney pours her second cup of coffee, as well as one
for Derek and one for Valeria. She brings them to the table as Derek pops his
Eggos in the toaster and Valeria retrieves her Lucky Charms from the cabinet.
Always one to be tidy, she puts the closed box back in the cupboard after
pouring her bowl, as well as throwing out the wrapper from Derek's waffles
(again, being a guy, he often forgets to put it in the trash).
As the
couple sit down to eat breakfast, three more people enter the room. One is clad
in checkered pajama bottoms, an old hockey jersey, and a sleeping cap. The
middle one is clad in a pair of shorts, a muscle shirt, and reflective gold
glasses. Bringing up the rear is a male wearing a pair of race car pajamas.
"Morning all," mumbles the first one. This is Jay Boaz, otherwise known as the
deputy-leader of the Lair Legion, Hatman.
"Morning" yawn the other two.
The one wearing the glasses is Bry Katz, the Legionnaire Goldeneyed. The third
is Bill Reed, known as Nats.
"Morning guys. Morning sweetie," says
Whitney as she tilts her head up to receive Jay's good morning kiss. Jay walks
to the fridge to pour himself a glass of apple juice. Bry and Bill retrieve
their respective cereals of choice and seat themselves at the table. Jay then
brings the coffee pot to top up Derek and Val's cups; Whitney rarely has more
than two. After returning the pot to the machine, he seats himself next to
Whitney as Derek hands him the Sports Section.
"So where's Donar this
morning?" asks Bry as he munches his Frosted Flakes. Donar is an Ausgardian
Hemi-God; he's also a momma's boy (not that there's anything wrong with that
Donar).
"It's Tuesday. He always calls his mom on Tuesday," replies
Whitney. Donar's mother is Gail, the Spirit of the Earth. She's always up this
early.
This is the Lair Legion, minus a few members. Sarah Shepherdson,
the heroine Dancer, is working the opening shift at the Bean and Donut Coffee
Shop in Parodiopolis Square. Right about now she is putting on a pot of coffee
and filling creamer bowls.
Troia215, the Amazon secretary for the team,
rarely gets up before 10 A.M. After many years of being up at before dawn on
Amazon Isle, she likes to sleep in while in Man's World; especially since nobody
dares tell her she's supposed to start work at 8.
The alien Ziles does
not get up before noon unless someone wakes her. She has yet to fully adjust to
the time system here, and is often up until late at night (or early in the
morning, depending on your view).
Trickshot has yet to return from a
night on the town. The arrogant archer likes to party it up when there isn't a
crisis, and usually doesn't return until later in the day. If the Legion enjoyed
his company more, they may ask what he was doing and where he was. As it is,
they just say "Morning Tricky".
And the Dark Knight…well, he's the Dark
Knight. 'Nuff said.
This is how a typical day starts for the Lair
Legion. Hey, they can't wear spandex all the time! (although as far as the men
are concerned, the women can)
This poster posed from 205.200.48.113 when they
posted
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